Rotten Bastards

It's a blog. It's a way of life. It's many things in between.


Wednesday 28 October 2009

BOO!

I'm just not feeling it these days. Several months ago, my muse went out for beer and cigarettes and just never came back. Can't say I blame her. I've always lacked discipline, but now I've got the attention span of a kid whose Ritalin was replaced with candy corn.

On that subject, before I forget, trick or treats is nigh approaching and I just could not care any less. Halloween used to be fun. As a kid eating candy, a teenager drinking beer, or a college student dropping acid, Halloween was a good time. Now my own kids get excited at the thought of the coming candy orgy, but it's just a pain in the ass for me. I've got to watch out for predators and poison and drunk drivers. And we can't even make it scary anymore. All it takes is one good old-fashioned, bowel-eliminating scare and I'm up every night for weeks with nightmare traumatized kids. But the real icing on the cupcake is this year's costumes. I will accompany a five-year-old Hannah Montana and a three-year-old Michael Jackson along the parade route. I'll be the embarrassed father with the flashlight/billy club acting as bodyguard to the stars. Sigh.

4 comments:

Tombington Stonewall the 3rd said...

Stupidly stupidly ridiculously well written. I'll be honest with you, I've been thinking about getting in touch with my co host and persuading him to delete this little half dead blog thing. This post only makes me want to do it more since let's face it, none of us are going to top this.

John said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
John said...

i have to agree with mr. tombstones. your post was amazing in not only saying how halloween has became pussified (for lack of a better term) but also how it seems to lose its appeal as one goes older.

great job and i hope the michael jackson costume confuses pedophiles.

Hope For Women Who Aren't Average said...

finally someone who will give the world a dose of reality...which is what the world really needs...