How was Sariel Thrawn conceived?
Some say that men such as he are not conceived, but spring up, full grown from the Earth. Others would tell you that his very existence defied all the laws of God and Man and Nature.
I tell you now, they are all wrong.
The conception of Master Sariel Thrawn is a tale that defies all explanation. It is exultant in its mediocrity. Luminous in its monotony. Ubiquitous in its sterility.
You will not laugh. You will not cry.
You may, however, yawn.
I realise that it is difficult to image that such magnificence could have be spawned by such utter vacuity, but nonetheless, it is so.
So how was he conceived? What were the circumstances under which he came to be?
Well the simple truth is that he was conceived in a rather non-descript and ugly shack on the outskirts of a rather non-descript and ugly town.
His mother was a frigid, cold-hearted, victim. Raped and beaten until she was nothing but a corpse that still managed to walk and talk, but had just forgotten to die.
His father? He was a pestilence on humanity and a broken human being.
One met the other on a dark street. There was a transaction. There was conception.
Here ends the tale of the Conception of Sariel Thrawn.
As bleak and lifeless a tale as one could hope for. His conception was rather a non-event.
His birth, however, now that’s a different story.