Rotten Bastards

It's a blog. It's a way of life. It's many things in between.


Thursday, 18 October 2007

Better Than an Orgasm?

The pain shot through me instantly while I sat in traffic. It tore at my insides and I could hardly bear it. I was a few minutes from home and I knew if I could make it there would be no serious accidents.


My eyes shot over to the cd player to see what time it was. 5:23. Fuck, I'm late getting home and this is why this is happening.


A greenlight flashes in front of my eyes yet the assholes in front of me are inching forward slowly. I can't honk at them, it might make things worse. My sides are aching with pain and I am trying not to double over. Fortunately the rest of the drive is trouble free.


I get to my block and speed down towards my house. The clock says 5:26 and I can't take it anymore.I jump out of my car while unfastening my seatbelt and run to the door of my house. I fumble with the keys and nearly drop them trying to unlock the door. It finally opens up.


I rush downstairs, open the door to the bathroom and drop my zipper.


What might arguably be heaven appears before me as I finally am able to piss and eleviate the pain. As I am finishing up I think to myself, "this may be better than an orgasm".

4 comments:

Sariel Thrawn said...

How many times have I come close to shitting my pants or pissing myself in this way.

Too many.

I totally feel your pain.

And you're right, it's right up there with an orgasm.

Tomby Stone said...

I can relate to this so much it scares me.

Father Luke said...

Five minutes in hell, brilliantly
realized, and magnificently
orchestrated.

Bravo.

- -
Okay,
Father Luke

Meshach said...

John,

Remember those Big Slams with Shaq on them? They did it to me every time.