Rotten Bastards

It's a blog. It's a way of life. It's many things in between.


Wednesday 28 November 2007

Life in a box

"All of human civilisation, is based upon the pursuit and veneration of the vagina."

"All of it?"

"Yes, all of it."

"How so?"

"Well think about humanity for a second. About the civilisation that we've built here for ourselves.

Miracles of science and technology. Always pushing the limits of human knowledge and endurance.

Most of the people who made those advances were men. Men with penises.

As you may be aware, most men with penises have an overwhelming natural desire to insert their penises into the vaginas of women, in order to produce offspring."

"And this leads to civilisation how?"

"Well in order for the offspring to be produced the male has to find a female willing and able to accept his penis. This leads us to the notion of male reproductive competition. Men with penises are required to compete in order to differentiate themselves from the rest of the men with penises. Thereby earning the attention of females with the vaginas.

So some will became strong mammoth killing warriors. Others will be stargazing astronomers.

Whatever they can do to individualise themselves and make themselves special enough to be noticed by a woman with a vagina."

"So that's all there is to it?"

"Basically, but there is more."

"Do tell."

"Well, generally speaking, over the history of the human species more females have been breeding compared to males. Virtually every female with a vagina is guaranteed a partner if she wishes. You yourself have more female ancestors than male."

"Wait. How is that possible?"

"I don't know I read it somewhere, you figure it out. But that's not the point.

The point is that at any given time, in any given human settlement you will almost always have a population of males with penises (of child bearing age) who have no vaginas to insert their penises into.

No breeding plus no partner plus no offspring plus no responsibilities equals lots of spare time.

What do these men do with all this spare time?

They create civilisation.

They invent the wheel. They discover new lands. They split the atom."

"You're totally generalising now."

"Yes. Yes I am. But I'm talking about every human being that has ever existed. Over the long span of time, this is how it went down. Has gone done. For millenia."

"Civilisation, based on the vagina."

"In a manner of speaking, yes."

"No wonder the modern world is such a cunt."

1 comment:

Tombington Stonewall the 3rd said...

Well done, you make a good point. however, the vagina is not the only motivating force of existence, if it were we'd be living in a truly shallow society. For you see there is also the mouth, the anus, the breast cleavage, the hand, the back of the knee, the sliced neck, etc.