anyone who has read my previous entries may know that i don't have a problem admitting fucked up stuff that has happened in my life. part of what makes you grow as a person is realizing that you are a fuck up like everyone else and getting shit off your chest. in a way this blog is like an anonymous counselling for me. so i will follow this with a list of things i like to get off my chest and since i am lazy, they will be in point form.
- if i am in a relationship i have a tendency to become infatuated with the person. no clue why, i don't have any mommy or daddy leaving issues. i just do.
- i was a mommy's boy until i was about a teenager. maybe it's because she was more lenient and let me do things i wanted that my dad wouldn't.
- i often think of what things would be like if i wasn't around. not in a suicidal sense but in a morbid fascination of if i died tomorrow, who would be at my funeral? call me emo but to me it's almost more of a curiousity of who i have impacted in my life.
- i cannot hunt or fish because i cannot kill animals. if it was a life or death situation it may be different. i still eat and have no problems killing insects. at the same time i have no problem striking another man if i have too.
- of all the substances i have put in my body i would have to say alcohol is the worse.
- i have never had a prostate exam cause i don't want a finger in my ass.
- i often have the thoughts that maybe i could have saved a relationship if i didn't react suddenly to stuff that seems trivial now
- although i am a crybaby, i haven't cried in over a year. it's not that i don't feel upset or sad anymore but maybe that i know things will be okay.
- the majority of my time online (outside of work) i spend looking at porn. it's not really an addiction or habit but it's similiar to the same way a stock broker might constantly look at how a stock is trading.
- i shit quite often (3-4 times a day) and i piss quite regularly too.
- i have a soft spot in my heart for hair metal. although they knew they weren't serious and they made music only so they could fuck more groupies, they weren't pretencious about it like many musicians now a days.
- i read quite a few biographies and sometimes think of how unexciting my life is.
- there are certain movies i won't watch because of memories i have tied between the movie and certain people i've had in my life.
- part of me hates confrontation and the other part loves the adrenaline rush and the escape from monotony.
- i don't know if i know the difference between love and infatuation.
- i wonder if there is anything after death but i doubt there is
- i buy shit that i rarely use. maybe because i am often bored?
- when i write these blogs i like to pretend i may impact someone's life when in face i really know it's just taking up space.
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4 comments:
I think most of us could share most of them, with the possible exception of the pooping. 3 to 4 times a day is really too much, you really need to see a doctor or at least stop eating so goddamn much.
The movies I can't watch are Schindler's list and anything featuring Milla Jovovich. Not for the massacred Jews and the plain awfulness of Milla Jovovich but for shameful experiences linked to them.
Of course you're not going to bring the world to it's trembling knees by writing here but I enjoy reading your stuff and every honest confession or insight into your life helps remind us all how deeply connected we are. Now shut up and kiss me.
the majority of my time online (outside of work) i spend looking at porn. it's not really an addiction or habit but it's similar to the same way a stock broker might constantly look at how a stock is trading.
I'm going to have to steal that one.
"In today's porn stock report, Japanese anal is taking a backseat in the Asian market and bondage is struggling a bit. Double-penetration is up two, while blowjobs appear to be heading down and orgy video is actively trading. Now here's Tom with the weather."
"when i write these blogs i like to pretend i may impact someone's life when in face i really know it's just taking up space."
John, may I call you, John? You touch me in a manish un-gay way. Everything is taking up space and you should be aware of this by now.
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