Mr Whippy is moonlighting

I shut curtain

I hear breath

I do not like

I fear

I admit I swore

I swore to my mam and dad

I tear

I never asked for this

I am becoming a stooge for some....

I will regret this, I'm sure I will regret....


3 Hail Mary's & an Our Farther


I am tree

I am football

I am the dirtiest knees in Barrow

I am an altar boy

I am crimped on neck by Canon.

Ok scratch all that shit. I saw all the bullshit as a kid, I saw that cunt canon cunt every time I had to do my time at church. I picked the duty as alter boy in school when some sister came round and asked for nominations. Me and Pete Craig put our heads together and decided it would be better to shake a bell than look at an old girls crotch whilst genuflecting.

I don't remember much, I had to wear that Lacey fucking thing, like a big doily over my head bordering a black gay suit with flaps. The "Lamb of God" or "Wafer" came in a massive transparent sack from some wholesalers. I grabbed hand fulls to eat or jam in my pockets for later.

When it was showtime I forgot my role every time. When the big man sticks the wafer up in the air, you got to ringading! When he did something else with the Tabernacle, I think? ringading! & some other shit. I forgot then, I'm not gonna remember now.

That cunt, Canon Nally, would clasp my neck and squeeze, squeeze and fucking squeeze every time I was on ringing duty. You know, if I could beat his head apart I would do. I'd fucking destroy that fucker any moment from..

He's dead, he died years ago.

Fat, bald fuck.

They have this candle in the Catholic churches called the "Eternal Light" which never goes out.

As a child I was amazed.

As a child I put it out and was more amazed.