under the infleundce

so i syasb to the guy, who the fuck are you and why arw shining a laser in my eye?
you brought a fucking taser home from thaialnd? how did you get it through customs yuo dodgy bastard!it shorrible the sonud is all crackly and scary. i got flasherd by a spped camera and i dont have a valid licenec sop i am pretty fu ckd noew. that caks wine was hrorbile but i mixed it with lemonade and it was a bit okasy but heaps better than the gross beer and some dog came into the abckyard and ghis name was "dude" who the fuck clals theuir dog dude/. seriouskly. he was blakc and i patted him but then i got a bit itchy cos i am allergic to like evrything. and it weas a bbq and the dead animal smoke was blowing on me nd i nearly barfed. she has lots of hats on the hatsnad in the hallway so w eall put hats on. i looked like a fucking bushman. then i danced to qwueen and freedie emrcury makes me cry cos he is dead. so we drank more and i ate a micorwaved potato cos the bqked ones had btter on them. no thanks. then we played with the laser a bit more and i got brinas in the eye and he is a policeman and he was not impressed. i tried to have a nap but it was all spinny.. the trmapoline was not a good idea. then we werwe singing and the sheep in the yatrd next door was baa baa baaing. so now i am hoem and i dont have to wokr tomoorw so i am rpewttyy happy so im come on the internet and aperil is enarly over so maybe i should post a blog but ti is influences... and i couldnt think of anythign all month cos i ahve beend rinking way too much lately, its very unladylike. so i tohught mayeb somethign will coem to mind now so i started typing and all i got was this garbage wioth enought typos to make anyone go blind and im sorry and i cans ee squiggly re dlines under all the mistakes but fucked if i am, gonan go trhu and correct them, all cos that would just defeat the purpiose of this and my fingrres are too slwo for my brian anyway and i wanna get out of here and go buy somrhying to eat but at the end of the day my biggetsd influence is ALCOFUCKINGHOL. cheers.