that one.

Fitting in with my previous themes....

There's probably at least one character I'd like to have sex with.
Shit, there's probably dozens.
Maybe my memory has been blocked by an horrific childhood sex act that has forced me to block out everything. I don't remember.
I don't remember anything.
What was a cartoon again?
Anyone remember what happens with sex?
x

Daria Morgendorffer

Daria. Ahhh, yes.

She's smart, she's cute, she wears glasses and she isn't real.
Everything a man could want in a woman.

And a wit so caustic it can destroy entire cities.

See the thing is I want to fuck her. Really. Deeply. Passionately.
But I've never actually pictured the event in my mind.

I can't describe the scene to you because, in truth, I have no idea how it would play out. All I can say is that without a doubt in my mind, I want to fuck Daria. Hard.

True, she may not have the most attractive physique. However, I think my attraction is firmly one of the mind and not the body. If I could fuck her brain, I probably would. But I would gladly settle for her two-dimensional vagina. Settle? Shit, I'd consider it an honour.

I would gladly go down on her all night, regardless of the amount of paper cuts I received. It makes me wonder what cartoon cum would taste like? Like candy perhaps? Or ink?

My slice of heaven from the cartoon universe would have to be She-Hulk. When I was in Grade 3 I collected these stupid Marvel Cards which featured Marvel characters on them and their special powers on the back. I believe they were called Marvel Power cards. I remember I had a few rare cards and I traded them for one She-Hulk card which was quite common, yet I did not have. I remember hiding it in my room away from the other cards in fear of my parents finding it. There wasn't anything pornographic about it; I can remember her lifting a car over her head and there might have been cartoonish nipple drawn. I am not 100% sure. Regardless of this, I felt it was "dirty" and hid it for fear of my parents finding it. Looking back upon it now, my parents probably would have thought I was a bigger creep for hiding a She-Hulk card away from the other cards than keeping it in the open.

I don't know why I find her attractive. Normally a chick who is all green probably has some type of STD or gangrene. But for some reason she has nice curves to her. I dated a girl who was taller and a lot stronger than me. It wasn't too bad besides the physical abuse she laid on me.

Although I find She-Hulk hot I am afraid that she might have a similiar trait to female bodybuilders: an oversized clit. I worry about it being so big that she might sodomize me with it and seeing as she has super strength, I couldn't fight her off. Then again, I worry more that I might like it.

The Unexplainable

Jeff: Hey man, have you ever thought about shit in life that will never be explained?

Jake: Do you mean like the pyramids and aliens, that shit?

Jeff: Nah, I'm thinking about something involving Jess.

Jake: Fuck, not again. You know she's a dyke right? You've seen Chasing Amy and listened to that Weezer song. There's no way you can make her straight dude. It's mission impossible.

Jeff: Ya i know that... I just mean last night I was at her house and we ended up sleeping together?

Jake: WHAT?! You were able to fuck her?!

Jeff: Nah, I didn't even try.

Jake: Then what the fuck is the problem?

Jeff: Well I know she's a lesbian and I have no chance so I don't even try.

Jake: Go on...

Jeff: Even knowing all this I woke up beside her with a bad case of morning wood...

Jake: That will never be explained dude, never will it be explained.

Life in a box

"All of human civilisation, is based upon the pursuit and veneration of the vagina."

"All of it?"

"Yes, all of it."

"How so?"

"Well think about humanity for a second. About the civilisation that we've built here for ourselves.

Miracles of science and technology. Always pushing the limits of human knowledge and endurance.

Most of the people who made those advances were men. Men with penises.

As you may be aware, most men with penises have an overwhelming natural desire to insert their penises into the vaginas of women, in order to produce offspring."

"And this leads to civilisation how?"

"Well in order for the offspring to be produced the male has to find a female willing and able to accept his penis. This leads us to the notion of male reproductive competition. Men with penises are required to compete in order to differentiate themselves from the rest of the men with penises. Thereby earning the attention of females with the vaginas.

So some will became strong mammoth killing warriors. Others will be stargazing astronomers.

Whatever they can do to individualise themselves and make themselves special enough to be noticed by a woman with a vagina."

"So that's all there is to it?"

"Basically, but there is more."

"Do tell."

"Well, generally speaking, over the history of the human species more females have been breeding compared to males. Virtually every female with a vagina is guaranteed a partner if she wishes. You yourself have more female ancestors than male."

"Wait. How is that possible?"

"I don't know I read it somewhere, you figure it out. But that's not the point.

The point is that at any given time, in any given human settlement you will almost always have a population of males with penises (of child bearing age) who have no vaginas to insert their penises into.

No breeding plus no partner plus no offspring plus no responsibilities equals lots of spare time.

What do these men do with all this spare time?

They create civilisation.

They invent the wheel. They discover new lands. They split the atom."

"You're totally generalising now."

"Yes. Yes I am. But I'm talking about every human being that has ever existed. Over the long span of time, this is how it went down. Has gone done. For millenia."

"Civilisation, based on the vagina."

"In a manner of speaking, yes."

"No wonder the modern world is such a cunt."

five minutes (late)

my very tardy and reckless submission for last month's topic can be seen here.

no point in filling up the RB page with the whole affair. i do however think it has enough dialog in it that i can take the month off without feeling guilty.

Romeo never had it this good

"Hey"

"Hey"

"How's it going?"

"Not too foul. How's you?"

"Pretty fucked actually. I feel just about ready to start cutting myself."

"Why? What happened?"

"Well my last trick beat the shit outta me and then rammed it up my arsehole."

"Fuck. I hate it when that happens."

"He bruised my cock too, the motherfucker."