It's About God Damn Time

Some say the end is near. Some say we’ll see Armageddon soon. I certainly hope we will. – Tool (Ænema)

I’ve always held a great fascination with post-apocalyptic literature and film. Something that takes place after the shit has hit the fan and the remaining humans must cope with the breakdown of society. I want to see the population culled by at least three billion and my family and I will live among the ruins with the other survivors. I do not expect zombies or vampires or a rage virus, but we are due for a cleansing epidemic of some sort. Something that happens rapidly on a global scale before we even know what hit us would be great. The resulting collapse and disorder would damage infrastructure somewhat, but hopefully leave some technology intact. I don’t want to go back to the Stone Age; I just want to see real bears on Wall Street and the end of the white man’s reign. That end may be coming sooner than you’d think. From Maynard, Mayans, and McKenna the message is clear. The actual date may be in dispute but they agree that December of 2012 is going to be an interesting time in history. It just might possibly be the end of it.

The civilization of the ancient Mayans was based upon both unimaginable savagery and an advanced understanding of astronomy. When they weren't ripping out still-beating hearts, their High Priests mapped the heavens and created precise language and tables to chart the movements of celestial objects. The end of their 5,126-year Long Count calendar is marked by the winter solstice and the alignment of the sun with the center of the Milky Way galaxy. That date is December 21, 2012 on our Gregorian calendar. There are some scholars who claim the actual date will be the 23rd, but what’s a mere 48 hours in a 5,126-year cycle? The Mayans left no record of what would actually happen on this date, but time ends here for some reason. Maybe it’s time to make human sacrifice fashionable again before God gets angry and eats the sun.

On the other end of the technological scale, the psychotropic philosopher Terence McKenna also mapped out the arrival of what he called the Transcendental Object at the End of Time. According to his theory, which I will not pretend to understand fully, we are moving towards this Object at an ever-increasing pace through both technological advancement and psychedelic experimentation. The Object is simultaneously moving towards us in its own incomprehensible fashion. We will confront this Object on December 12, 2012, the day some have termed the Omega Point. Predictably, the Object will appear much like the monolith in Arthur C. Clarke’s 2001: A Space Odyssey and I suppose we will all grunt and shriek before it and then someone will hurl their bone-white iPod against it. McKenna, along with computer programmers, provided a mathematical model to prove his theory though the development of his Timewave Zero software. The program carefully maps out history and its conclusion is that 12/12/12 is the day that the appearance of the Object will rupture reality. The most interesting part of McKenna’s theory is that the Unknown can be experienced by many, but by each in their own way. Thus the fundamental religious mind may attempt to grasp this unknowable by seeing it as the appearance of the Virgin Mary or the second coming of Jesus or Judgment Day while the New Age or scientific mind might envision it as a visitation by an alien race. McKenna also hedged his bet by imagining a wide range of possible phenomena occurring on this date. From the extreme “soft end” in which nothing perceptible actually happens to the extreme “hard end” in which the oceans boil and the stars fall as written in Revelations.

I’m hoping for the hard end. Let’s just shoot this lame horse and move on. It is high time for the holier-than-thou to get sorted out and for the Facebook status quo to end. Sure there are going to be loved ones that suffer in the end, but they are all suffering anyway. We have reached the nadir of western civilization and it is high time to put it out of its misery. So just how does one prepare for the end of time? I’m not joining a cult on a compound or building an ark, but I’m going to make damn sure I’ve got plenty of booze on hand during those weeks and maybe even “an heroic dose” of psilocybin if I can score it. The end is nigh, so let’s all get high. I’d like to see that Transcendental Object in a McKenna state of mind. I’m ready to board the spaceships and see the stars up close or for the Rapture to come and clear the place of Christians. Even if it did go down biblically and we were all left standing in line behind the velvet rope waiting for St. Peter the bouncer to let us into heaven like it was the hottest new gay disco in town, I welcome the change. I’m up about the downfall of mankind. To quote still more song lyrics, “It’s the end of the world as we know it and I feel fine.”

judgement day

the idea of a judgement day to me means that someone slaves their life away in the hopes that after the game is over they get a prize. it's kind of like when you are younger and you only play a sport such as baseball or football in the hopes that after the game is done you go out for ice cream and not a vicious ass fucking by your local priest or drunken uncle.

in order to judge there must be a certain viewpoint which is right. now this ultimately means that one path, and possibly one religion, is the right away.

"we pray to as many different gods as there are flowers
but we call religion our friend"

i should get trashed for this quote, and rightfully so as it is from a jewel song. and as a side note, am i the only one who thinks that all her songs sound like they should be for tampon commercials? getting back to the point or lack of one, is it to say that on the day of reckoning that we might be judged on something which most of us feel is wrong but others don't?

maybe the catholic church (or as i like to call them, NAMBLA) and the few priests who practice lil boy fucking will be the ones right and we will be punished for not partaking in this extra curricular activity. or maybe those great tribes in africa that worship a shrub and believe woman shouldn't be allowed to have that pesky clitoris will be the chosen ones.

if this is judgement day i think something should be done about it. all the gods in the world should have a royal rumble like wrestling match where the winning god can judge all the mere mortals. this will make sure that the god you chose is a fucking winner. the only problem with this idea is that the atheists will be fucked.

"I swear to fuckin God I raise Hell
and make the white man call me MASTER"

30 years young and as joyful as ever

Deserve?

What the fuck?

Who among us can honestly say they deserve a goddamn thing?

I don't and I'm sure as shit that neither do you.

Life is not a fucking gift. We are not fortunate.

We just are.

That's it.

Don't go looking for answers kid, because you ain't gonna find any. All you're gonna find is a deep, dark abyss. And when you're staring down into that hole, the only thing you'll see looking back is yourself.

Make your choices, take your shots, live your life.

Or don't.

It's entirely up to you.